There are two sides to the subject of suicide. The ones who are considering it, and the ones who are trying to help the other person to not do it. Being involved in a support group for chronically ill people I see way too much suicide. I see both sides. I see people feeling helpless to help people and not knowing what to do. I also see people wanting to reach out to others when they are feeling this way but they are either too embarrassed or already feeling too judged to do so and they don’t feel safe or comfortable reaching out. I hope that this lens will help both sides of people.
Just My Two Cents
I am writing this article because I have watched several of my friends go down this path. I have seen first hand what suicide does to the family of these people who commit suicide and I have seen how it rips away the lives of friends who felt like they didn’t have hope.
I am also not naive to how real the pain can be and how cliche some of the things on this page might sound. I have been where you are. I have wanted to die. I have also tried to end it. I didn’t succeed, obviously but I am only telling you so that you don’t think, man this person doesn’t know what they are talking about…there is no way somebody distracting me with funny movies, or listening to music, or someone stopping over and doing my dishes is going to stop these suicidal feelings, they are too deep. Right?
Well the thing is, I’m not just trying to help just YOU, the suicidal person. I am also trying to help the others around you that you are about to hurt. And I know with most of you, it is not the intent to hurt others by this choice, not at all. But, you will. Sometimes we feel like we are relieving them of a burden, by leaving them. But I’ll get to that in a minute. You see, I am trying to help them know from the stand point of the “suicidal person” know what it is that we might need. Sometimes, we just don’t want to feel like a big pain in the butt. Sometimes we don’t want to feel ugly or invisible, or like our “suffering” will never end. Sometimes we think you are the one that’s selfish for wanting to keep us here, to do nothing but suffer.
And I can totally relate to wanting to end life because of chronic suffering that seems like it will never end. I have always been on the side of Dr Kevorkian. I can understand when someone is terminal and suffering and is not going to get any better, and if they weren’t being kept alive, they would slowly suffer and die and they want to end it peacefully. I get that. After all isn’t this what we do to our animals? When they are sick and suffering we euthanize them, right?
Well the thing is, in many cases, this is not the case. Many of the people who commit suicide aren’t terminal, and aren’t going to suffer endlessly forever. In these cases sometimes the person just needs a reason to want to live again. They want to feel loved or needed, or like they aren’t the biggest burden to ever walk the earth. Because that’s what things like chronic illness, or being “different” in some way, or having mental illness can make you feel like.
You’d be surprised how much a little action like bringing over groceries to someone who is agorophobic, or dropping by someones apartment to do someone who is chronically ill’s dishes, or putting a message saying, “I am thinking of you and miss you,” on someone who is lonely’s Facebook wall could do. I’ts the little things in life that count. And when you are locked away from society because of physical or mental illness, or shunned because you are gay, or weigh more, or whatever it is that is making you feel so depressed, you lose out on these “little things” that are so precious and that other people take for granted.
We need to be reminded that we still count.
Don’t Be Afraid To Reach Out
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
- This website deals with the effects that bullying has on people. If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis, please call the Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
- American Foundation For Suicide Prevention
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is the leading national not-for-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research, education and advocacy, and to reaching out to people with mental disorders and those impacted by suicide.
- SAVE was one of the nation’s first organizations dedicated to the prevention of suicide and was a co-founding member of the National Council for Suicide Prevention. Our history and growth from an all-volunteer, small grassroots group of passionate survivors led us to what is one of today’s leading national not-for-profit organizations with staff dedicated to prevent suicide. This site, along with our work, is based on the foundation and belief that suicide should no longer be considered a hidden or taboo topic and that through raising awareness and educating the public, we can SAVE lives.
- NIMH~ National Institute of Mental Health
- Mission~ The mission of NIMH is to transform the understanding and treatment of mental illnesses through basic and clinical research, paving the way for prevention, recovery, and cure.
For the Institute to continue fulfilling this vital public health mission, it must foster innovative thinking and ensure that a full array of novel scientific perspectives are used to further discovery in the evolving science of brain, behavior, and experience. In this way, breakthroughs in science can become breakthroughs for all people with mental illnesses.
- HelpGuide.com~ A Trusted Non Profit Resource
- Helpguide.org was launched in 1999, following the suicide of Robert and Jeanne Segal’s daughter, Morgan. We believe that Morgan’s tragedy could have been avoided if she had access to well-written professional information that gave her a sense of hope and direction. In the past 12 years this website has grown from a small local project to an internationally recognized resource now serving 1 million visitors weekly.
Suicide Related Articles
- Killing Me Softly : FM/CFS & Suicide
- Lisa Lorden Myers, a CFS/fibromyalgia patient from California, is a well-known writer. For three years, she was the Guide to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia at About.com. This article was originally published in Fibromyalgia Frontiers, the journal of the National Fibromyalgia Partnership.
- The Anatomy of Hope
- Hope for CFIDS and Fibromyalgia
- Suicide in America: Frequently Asked Questions
- A brief overview of the statistics on depression and suicide with information on depression treatments and suicide prevention
- Older Adults: Depression and Suicide Facts (Fact Sheet)
- Statistics on depression and suicide in older adults, with information on depression treatments and suicide prevention
- Recognizing Those Who Have Served
- The NIMH/U.S.Army Study to Assess Risk and Resilience in Soldiers (Army STARRS) project enrolled over 25,000 soldiers in the past year to develop a risk calculator for PTSD, depression, and suicide, similar to what we use today for heart disease.
- American Association of Suicidology
- The goal of the American Association of Suicidology (AAS) is to understand and prevent suicide.
- Befrienders~ Hotlines by State
- Need to talk? Need a friend? Befrienders
Befrienders listen to people who are lonely, despairing or considering suicide. They don’t judge them, don’t tell them what to do. They listen. That may not sound much – but it can make the difference between life and death.
- Why Should I Go On?
- Living with Chronic Illness: Why Should I Go On?
by Stephen Schmidt
Stephen Schimidt is professor of religious studies at Mundelein College in Chicago.
- One in 10 suicides linked to chronic illness, study finds
- At least one person takes their life every day while suffering from a chronic or terminal illness, and the government is neglecting this hidden trend, the thinktank Demos has said.
- TRANSFORM YOUR CHRONIC LIFE Are you tired of feeling sick & and miserable all the time?
- Fibromyalgia Increases Suicide Risk – Chronic Illness, Stress, and Depression Part II
Mental Health Links
- Anxiety Disorders
- Publications about Anxiety Disorders
- Borderline Personality Disorder
- Publications about Borderline Personality Disorder
- Eating Disorders
- Overview of Eating Disorders
- Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
- Overview of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
- Find current clinical trials on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
- Panic Disorder
- Overview of Panic Disorder
- Find current clinical trials on Schizophrenia
- Coping with Traumatic Events
- Overview of Coping with Traumatic Events
- Men’s Mental Health
- Symptoms and Treatment of Depression
- Women’s Mental Health
- Examing mental issues and stressors in womens lives.
- Depressed Moms
- NIH Encourages Depressed Moms to Seek Treatment for Themselves