lymie double pinkie swear

Make the “Double Pinkie Swear Promise” Suicide Prevention

lymie double pinkie swearDouble Pinkie Swear Promise

Lyme Disease is such a devastating disease. It is so easy to become isolated and desperate with the never ending symptoms that Lyme Disease causes. Not to mention the abandonment of friends and family, and the rejection of the medical community.

If you are feeling this way please reach out. There are lots of groups that can help. It can be hard to reach out, or even embarrassing. But those feelings  are NOTHING compared to the loss that your family and friends will feel if they lose you. So please reach out to others.

Other Lymies will understand. I’ts okay to feel lonely, depressed, angry, or alone. These are real feelings just as happiness, joy, and all those are. But remember this is an infection in your brain making you feel this way. It may be just temporary. Try to hold on. You never know what is around the  corner.

Please sign your name below and take the Pinkie Swear to never hurt yourself!

How the Pinkie Swear Got Started

Shea HermsenThere was a young boy named Shea. Shea had Lyme disease and was very sick. The day before he went to heaven he asked his mom to “double pinkie swear” that she wouldn’t ever take her own life if something happened to him.

It was hard, Roxi lived through some terrible losses, first her son, then her mom. But she kept her promise and today is on lyme treatment herself and enjoying a life with her grandkids.

Had she done something different, she wouldn’t be here enjoying her life and her two grandkids, making memories. So to honor little Shea’s wishes, I would like to ask everyone who reads this to “double pinkie swear” that you will never make the decision to take your own life.

Please close your eyes and picture yourself pinkie swearing with little Shea. Then go to the bottom of this page and sign your name in the comments section. This is your contract with Shea that you will always reach out to others when you need help and you will never do anything to hurt yourself. To read more about Shea Click Here.

Please Remember There could be a cure tomorrow.

Please Read the Following Articles

Click Here to Learn about Lyme and Suicide

Lyme Disease and Suicide, An Ignored Problem

Suicide Hotlines

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
A list of suicide Hotlines by State

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Suicide Prevention Facebook Groups for Lyme Friends

24/7 Lymie Help Support Group

Asist Gatekeepers_ Suicide Prevention Facebook Group

Please sign your name below and take the Pinkie Swear to never hurt yourself!


This page was written in memory of Debbie Bodden.

Poster by Jodi Osler

85 thoughts on “Make the “Double Pinkie Swear Promise” Suicide Prevention”

  1. I swear I won’t do anything to hurt myself.

    I swear I will remember that it was hard for me to sign this.

    So even when I think I’m immune to the thoughts that plague so many lymies…

    I’ll remember where I’ve been and teach people about it.

    I’ll remember that some die from lyme without taking their own life, and I’ll embrace the opportunity to fight.

    Thank you, Shea.

  2. I double pinky swear that I will never commit suicide. Not that I don’t think about it. Well actually I think about it more passively happening. But I am trying not to do that. I have a wonderful family who loves me and I am very lucky and grateful for that. I will continue to fight for my health no matter how much pain and sorrow I suffer. I am a Lyme Warrior.

  3. I double pinkie swear I’ll never hurt myself. Thanks to the loyalty and love of my husband John and the support from my daughters/husbands and from a few loyal friends I’m very aware that I’m blessed to have their support. I also want to live to enjoy my very loved 3 grandchildren.
    To all of you…I know how it feels to be at rock bottom. To suffer so much I truly didn’t know if I’d survive. Many times over the past 28 years. I’ve seen my entire family suffer from this disease.
    But even when I’ve been told “you’re one of the worst cases we’ve seen”, I somehow hung on.
    Finally, there came a day when I began to feel better. It took a very long time and I certainly will always have the damage and scars from this awful disease. I don’t know what will happen from day to day. But I know reaching out for help saves lives.
    We’re all in this together. I’ll continue to help others. Bless all of you.

  4. For the sake of my parents, my brother, my grandparents, my dog and family. For the man I love and all my friends who have stood by my side. For all my fellow Lyme warriors fighting hard. But also for myself. To have a happy, healthy, successful future. To help those who are struggling with pain and battling fear. To give hope and faith to those afraid to carry on.

    There are days I feel so low and depressed. Days I feel like I won’t make it through. But I force myself to see how far I have come. There are days I fall to the ground and cry because I’m so angry.

    I double pinky swear. I shall keep fighting on.

  5. I do make my double pinkie swear. I swear on everything that to me is my world. My husband, my children and my grandchildren. As this says, you never know…tomorrow may be the day they find the cure. Love you all, please hang on. Just one day at a time. Step by step. Reach out, there is always someone there for you.

  6. When I’m of sound mind, yes, I can make this promise. But lately the psych symptoms have gotten so bad, I don’t even know who I am at times. I hallucinate, sometimes don’t even recognize my own name or what reality even is. I don’t know how to explain. When I’m myself, though, I know I want to live and not die. The hold this disease can take over your mind and mental stability is just unreal.

  7. I double pinky swear promise to never hurt myself & to keep on fighting & to help others! <3

  8. I remind myself daily that I have too much to live for. There are 11 young girls and boys that would be scared for life if I did killed myself. I could never do that to them, nor their parents, my children.
    So I will fight hard to stay here where I belong.
    I promise.

  9. I think this is a really great idea. Nobody feels comfortable talking about those dark days when you truly feel you have no reason to be here and you don’t want to suffer anymore. This place has opened up a safe place to talk about it. It’s a great idea!

    So, I’m not naturally a depressed kind of person and I am blessed with people who love and care for me and I am deeply religious…so you’d think I never felt that way right? Wrong. This Lyme can affect your brain function soo much that you lose your ability to think normal. It’s like a heavy dark cloud comes over you and your’e stuck in a nightmare you can’t escape.

    Thankfully, I have made it through enough of them to know that it is physical and that it does pass eventually. I can feel when the cloud is coming now and I prepare myself for the storm..telling myself that it is the Lyme and to not listen to it. I surround myself with funny shows, uplifting memes, my scriptures and religious material, and then I hunker down and try to rest and immerse myself in these things until it passes. It’s doesn’t mean that these things can make it pleasant,(sometimes I feel angry at them even) but it does mean I make it through. It’s my soul medicine.

    The more stories I read, the more I see soo much suffering and for some I don’t know if the cloud ever passes for them. All I can do is pray for them and I also know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are right there and understand and love us all. I hang onto that and to the knowledge that even though I may not be able to do much anymore, I still have a purpose. I have many things to learn through it all too. I may not actually feel this very often but I do choose to believe it.

    I read everyone’s pinky swears and stories and I think this is a great idea. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I could promise this and felt daunted by it because I know those dark days too well. Then I thought, “I’m going to commit to fight this no matter what because if I feel uncertain about making that promise, then that is exactly what I am needing.”
    I want to win this fight! It may not mean I ever heal, but if I stay here and do all I can to make a difference in this world (even if it’s just posting encouragement and praying) then that is what God wants for me to do here and I WILL do it.
    I WILL fight the darkness because that is who I REALLY am inside and I refuse to let the darkness change me!
    That is success to me.
    I still am me no matter what my body is doing.
    My spirit WILL win!
    Hurrah for this pinky promise!
    I take it on whole heartedly and it will be my battle cry!
    I pinky swear never to hurt myself intentionally. Thank you Shea!
    Children are the wisest because they still follow their hearts and choose to believe in good things to come. Let us try to be like that!
    God bless everyone in this fight.
    Don’t give up!

  10. I’ve been out of work on disability since October 2009 and was diagnosed in December. It took a couple of years for me to realize how sick I really was (am). There have definitely been times over the years I’ve been so sick I thought I might die (just last weekend) but in the fall of 2011 I made a spiritual decision that I would not take my own life.

    There are still days the pain and/or depression gets so bad that it does cross my mind, but I’m sticking around for the day I will be cured and can live again (because as we all know, this really isn’t living), and for my loved ones – human and cat – who depend on me for love and support in their lives.

    Yes, I double pinky swear not to purposefully do anything to end my life.

    ♡ Leigh

  11. I double pinkie swear that I will never deliberately hurt myself. I need to be strong to help my daughter fight this fight as well. I promise to reach out to friends and family. I promise to hang on and fight till the very end!

  12. I double pinky swear for the sake of my parents and for those that love me and care for me as if I were a part of their family. These people are the reason why I keep fighting, to save them from the pain. So as long as there is someone alive that loves me and is there for me in the dark times, I promise I will keep fighting.

    1. You know how to get in touch with me if there is that dark time! Thank you for signing this. Mom and I are very happy. XO

  13. Well, I DONT promise. I think that if more people die from lyme the quicker future generations will have help. The death rate has to climb to AIDS levels before we sufferers will be helped. There is no help for us. Maybe for future generations.

    I was infected at age 18 in 1974. Undiagnosed for 30 years. 58 now, bedridden. Alone. No friends.

    I pray daily to die. I know I can not live like this for another 20 years. I WILL commit suicide.

    1. Theresa, I hear you. I understand. For those of us who have chronic, long-term, ignored Lyme, I don’t ‘blame’ anyone wanting to escape the pain & suffering. For example, my mother had undiagnosed Lyme & coinfection for *decades*, her physicians ignored -mocked- her symptoms, blamed her for her symptoms. She begged me daily to kill her, to end her suffering. All her organs were shutting down eventually, so I granted her wish to die by checking her into hospice to die painfree. Meanwhile, I have seen others with chronic, late stage Lyme get progessively healthier & feel better with treatment, supplements and gluten/sugar/dairy-free diets… Please check out Lyme Less Live More- I have learned a great deal from them. Peace to you, my friend.

    2. I cannot pinky swear. I had undiagnosed Lyme for 28 years. I have lost a marriage to a man I loved dearly, my kids are mostly grown, 21,18 and 17. My youngest is living with my sister because I cannot care for myself let alone provide a decent environment for her. No one understands my life, my pain, my lonliness or sadness. How could they. I have no plan but I truly cannot pinky swear.

    3. I doubt you will see this as your post is 4 years old. But i know and feel exactly as you stated here. Undiagnosed for 28 years here. I hope you are still alive. It would give me hope.


  14. I just want to help all of you who are going through this it saddens me to read some of these comments. I highly recommend any of the meditations from Oprah and Deepak Chopra they do free ones for 21 days and their Desire and Destiny one just ended but I’m sure they will return with another one. They notify us by email. If anyone wants to buy just search it on Google or go through Oprah’s website and I have the ones from Miraculous Relationships if anyone wants me to email it and it’s the ones they did right before the Destiny and Desire one. Also check out Suicide Prevention Services on Facebook they are an amazing group and are non profit and I’ve read stories and seen posts about the things they do which include paying for services to help with all sorts of suicide services and they too are people who have been affected by lots of the same things me and everyone here on this blog have gone through. They can help if you or anyone you know don’t feel comfortable calling a hotline or going to get help in person as I know that can be very hard for some people myself included. I wish everyone here a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and may you all be well. Oh and I triple pinky promise to take the pledge for this adorable boy to never hurt myself..I am sure that all the people I lost have met you or maybe they will soon and will be a little more brighter wherever their spirit is roaming. I’m sorry to the family of this little man as well and I am grateful to the creator of this blog I’m very happy I came across this! NAMASTE -Amanda xoxo

  15. I’m in such a dark place this disease has taken away almost everything from me… But I promise Shea……. I will not do that!!!!!!!! I pinky swear!!!!!!!!

  16. I double pinky swear promise that I will reach out and never harm myself. Thank you Shea and your strong momma for sharing.

  17. My tale is basically that of a.c bourne whom I hope is still with us.

    I want to double pinky swear and will try very hard. It’s been a long lonely haul with no help, just unimaginable suffering & rejection from all sides. It’s on my mind a lot. I hang on for my animals because they’ve got no one else. I’m in Australia – where Lyme is still mostly denied by the government despite there being hundreds of us with it & its comorbidities. I’ve been sick since 1996, dx’d from lymphoma to ME, Lupus to leukemia, EBV, Mono, and I had very severe Bartonella along with many paralysis tick bites. I have advanced osteoporosis too. I’m alone in a rural backwater & left to rot with zero treatment & no way of paying for any. I know it’s Lyme and I’m mainly bedbound just waiting…but I will try & keep the double pinky promise. Thank you.

  18. I double pinkie swear that I will not deliberately hurt myself. I have been through deep depression from this disease and fought through it and will continue to keep fighting.

  19. I double pinkie swear, if I even entertain the thought of suicide I will reach out. I will also take pen and paper and write down all the blessings in my life….

  20. I “double pinky swear”. We must all continue the fight….. if we don’t, who will help those that come after us that stand a chance to benefit from our courage?

  21. I double pinkie swear to my two beautiful daughters that I will not commit suicide and will stay here on this earth to continue to fight Lyme, to continue to help them recover from Lyme, and to also grab and celebrate all the joy that life will have to offer us too.

  22. I double pinkie swear that I will never deliberately hurt myself!
    I remind myself and others this is only for a time…

  23. I’ve lost a husband, was bitten over 30 times while walking through the woods. Was bedridden for over a year, spent all my savings on medicine and was unable to work. I have two beautiful children. Suicide was never a consideration. My children and my life mean too much to me. Thankfully found a great doc and am so much better now. Not completely well. Never will be, but I maintain and encourage all to find a good doc, go to websites like these. People will help. We are all in the same boat, there were just ticks in it.

  24. I signed a contract that states I will never take my life. Sometimes though it can be hard to remember and to fight the need to just call it quits. It is harder when your loved ones shun you and others in the lyme community call it quits.

    I am strong and will persist just like the blasted bacteria in my body. I will not give up!

    Thank you for creating this page for us.

  25. i’m sorry, but i just cant make that promise…

    i see what my illness has caused everyone around me, they tell me everyday with their bitterness and distance… im not trying to do anything here but survive and im just not sure why at times… i know others will be relieved with my passing.

    i just wanted to be happy for all you that can make this promise…
    and i was a very strong person but day after day after years and years, my story is old and im tired and it really doesnt matter.
    today is an ok day although seizures and pain, ect have kept me up until 6 am again. and im just so darn tired of this nothing life.
    i am alone and have nothing to offer anyone. i am useless, as i have been told.

    my writing has gotten me this far as part of therapy within myself. dark poetry, and short stories… 2 of which even got published in an anthology… but my brain cant always work and i start to spiral…

    i have 50 used journals depicting this illness and what my X husband did while i was bedridden.He left me homeless, penniless, and even poisoned me-truly its a horror strory. I know we all have our terribel storires, but how much more pain, and time, and life in bed without any help do we have to endure.
    because i cannot work my parents send me money to live but dont pay for all meds so i go half treated, constantly sick, yet getting yelled at because of the stress they say ive caused them…my own parents dont even call me anymore. i sent them the dvd, under our skin and they returned to me unopened, said they didnt need to be more stressed out by me. who do i think i was inflickting it upon them… bla bla bla….
    i dont know what will become of me but i know i cannot make this promise. so sorry. no one wants to be around a sick person. without a doubt in my heart, i know they would be happy if i died. without a second thought.
    i have never posted anything like this before but think its time people deal with the consequencses in reality. some of us will not make it and its the ones like me, without a loving environment.
    so sorry.

    1. I understand what you are saying. I am approving this comment and posting so others can know the true side of what Lyme does to us. I want people to know the lack of support that we get and how many of us go untreated. This is my blog, I know all this stuff..and save it to share with the world, so you think Id be set right? Well, no. I don’t even get treatment at all. I have tried a lot of things, none of which worked and was very expensive. I think we need much more research to find out what is really going on. It has to be more then just a spirochete. I believe in my heart we are being poisoned from our environment. Chem trails being sprayed, pesiticides in our food, crazy vaccination that include poisons in them. When will it end? So as much as I want to hug you and say hang in there…I do understand where you are coming from. The only thing I would like to say to you is, please don’t do it, because if you end your life today, what if there is a cure tomorrow? That hope keeps me hanging on.

    2. Hi there I haven’t commented yet because I wanted to read some of them first and I’m glad I read yours. I do not have this illness and I am so sorry for those who do I wish I could help you all to be cured of it but what you said struck a chord with me. You say your ex husband was really evil to you and you know what I say to that? I think you should fight to live so that you can always be a reminder of what he lost. Be a reminder of a selfless love that won’t let what he did to you ruin your mental health. Oprah and Deepak Chopra said it best when they said if you love yourself first then everything else will fall into place. I’ve been doing their free 21 day meditations and the one of the Miraculous Relationships my boss’s wife emailed me and I’ve been doing them when I have time. I highly recommend them and I’m not a religious person by the way I struggle with that too. I just really wanted to comment on this also because I lost an aunt to suicide in Nov 2011 and I cried so bad to where I thought I would cry myself into a heart attack or something of the sort because just the yr before in that same month I lost 2 friends and I wasn’t healed yet so I felt like everything was going wrong I really wanted to die and I hate that I felt that way when I honestly had and have so much to be grateful for. I’m only 23 and I’m still trying to hang on to this thing called life. It’s not easy but I kind of like a challenge. I hope you reconsider your feelings and please check out the meditations and if you would like I can email you them or give you the Facebook page for the most recent one that Oprah and Deepak did and someone on there might be able to email it to you if they purchased it. The one I have is a good set though so I wish you well and take care. May the peace be with you always. -Amanda M

    3. I am glad you were brave enough to talk about the way it feels. I’m soo sorry for the way you have been treated. It is a terrible place to be, and you’ve experienced horrible injustices. Please know that you are not alone even when it feels that way from the people around you. Others are going through similar pain and they need you and you need them. Losing you would be a great loss to us all. You have a purpose and Jesus Christ has felt every affliction and hurt that has ever existed. Even if there is nobody who understands in your life, He always will and always will be by your side. Keep fighting. You are needed!

  26. I promise. I am too busy here in Finland with Lymies that I can´t even think about take my own life.

  27. I have never ever considered committing suicide & never will. Life means way to much to me, I’ve been through HELL & BACK, and I’d do it again & again to fight & fight to save myself & those I care about. Besides it would only mean the ones that won’t help us would win & I won’t ever have that happen. Plus I feel I have something to contribute, a purpose to fulfill & a promise to keep to my mom that I will never give-up, will fight & keep going to honore her & myself.
    R.I.P. to those who were my friends & my Lymie brothers & sisters.

  28. I do so swear dude; I came “that close” once for shit I didn’t even understand why I thought was so terrible just days later. Years later I needed to have gotten a couple double pinkie swears our of people who I loved very much, but I didn’t realize I needed to until too late.

  29. I double pinky swear that now matter how much worse/better it gets, I will always keep fighting and never commit suicide!

  30. I double pinky swear that no matter how bad it gets, I will stay and fight, not just for me but for all of us. I will take this rotten lemon called Lyme that I’ve been inflicted with and do everything in my power to make a lemonade (or Lymenade) of sweet justice by making my illness one of the worst things that ever could happen to those who are in the business in denying that our diseases exist, who bury the truth, and who put up so many barriers which prevent so many sick people from getting proper and timely diagnosis and treatment. I will also try to fight to try make it easier for non-Lymies to understand what we’re going through, as this disease destroys our personal lives as well when our loved ones don’t have a clue as to how sick we truly are and then just think we’re lazy or faking.
    I am not suicidal at all, but I can fully understand the frustration, pain (physical and emotional), the loneliness (even in a room full of people) and the hopelessness that people are feeling when they make that final irreversible decision. If you feel on the verge of going over that cliff, please reach out, and if you want something to live for even after all that you held dear is gone, then live for the fight to put an end to this misery for everybody, live for the fight to the people behind the Lyme disease cover up PAY. Live to see the end of this nightmare, live to see the victory we WILL have, because the truth has a way of getting out, and the denial doctors won’t be able to hide it much longer. I promise. Live to fight and live to win.
    Yes, I am sick, and I am fragile, and I am sad, and very frustrated, but I am also very very angry and plan to out that anger to good use!

  31. I will ask if I need help and will help anyone that needs a friend. I take the double pinky promise in honor of Shea and Deb.

  32. i double pinkie promise that i will never hurt my self if something happens to any of my faimly members. I am so sorry for those people that do have lyme disease… but keep living because i promise u , that u have something better to live for. plz read this story about this kids mom that had cancer.

    Son: MOM! MOM! MOM! Why Are You Crying?

    Mom: Its Nothing

    Son: MAMA! MAMA! MAMA! Why Are You Crying? …
    … …
    Mom: Its Nothing Baby.

    (Next Day He Looks In Moms Purse & Finds A Letter From The Doctor Saying She Has Cancer & Only Has A Few Days To Live)

    … (Next Day On The News It Says They Found A Kid Dead Left With A Note Saying “Mom I Killed Myself I’ll Be Waiting For You In Heaven.”)

  33. I pinky swear. This page and site is a blessing. Thank you Shea, RIP,
    RIP Debbie. Living mine with a twist of lyme.

  34. I double pinkie swear that I will never deliberately hurt myself. I promise to reach out to friends and family. I promise to hang on and fight till the very end!

  35. I double pinkie swear that I will never deliberately hurt myself! I promise to ask for help if I need it. And finally, I promise to hang on. No. Matter. What.

  36. thank you so much for posting this. I can now refer people here when they need it. So many have committed suicide lately. It’s not necessary. Definitely in memory of our friend Debbie. Praying for her family and friends.

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